A Very SAD, SAD, SAD State of Affairs: The (What Looks Like) A Bleak Future Of The Collective Black Male/Female Relationship (Part I)

From One BW poster to a BW Blogger:  “I read this article, the data and comments. While it is generally true that black women love black men to the point they’d rather be miserable with them than without them to the point of being the side pussy, knowingly and often quietly accepting being with black men who have no intention of being monogamous or up front and open polygamy. Or when the hurt is too much turn to other women or other men. All of this is true and often black men go silent with this or advocate this. It is a wonder why black women seek the image of black men and raise him up to God status in her mind when black men don’t do the same under this system. Even when black women marry out they still yearn for black men. The numbers don’t lie.It seems that black men who looking to morph black women into something else as I have heard black men talk of mixed black women as the new black woman and while they are with non black women and light women they often despise their not so light offspring girls and lament the loss of darkness in the boys. In general it doesn’t feel as though black women are hated by black men, it is verified and known.

I know of too many black women who are everything a man could want but is holding out for a brotha. As more black men are telling black women to go and are now pushing black women to date interracial and marry the more it will happen. Make no mistake black women are wanted and once they go in any real number things are going to change rapidly.

After the big slavery and integration it wasn’t black women who started to marry out nor date or sex out. Look at most black men revolutionaries and you’ll find white or other non black women. Now do the same for black women and it’s not the case. So who loves who?

Some how they think an alabaster black woman will appear and want them. Once dating out becomes the norm for black women do black men really think that preference will remain the same? I’m already seeing this happen and I find it hard to tell them there’s better out there because really there isn’t.”

From one BW poster to another: @Jane Doe, “You say black women will lick the boots of black men while black men praise all other non-black women (I’m paraphrasing here). You say black women ADORE black men. When I hear BW say that, I never can understand what is so “adorable” about BM. I find BM mean, generally speaking. To me personally, they seem mean to BW like BW are just year old dog poop. It just never made sense to me. How can one half of the race be anamored with the other, while the other half takes a dump on that first half every day (in music, online, and on YouTube)? BW make it clear every day that they like to be shyte on and do not need any love whatsoever in return. It’s weid.”

From One BW poster to a BW Blogger: “I read this post and I am very impressed with this article. I am glad a Black woman understands and realizes the dilemma that many Black women face in this country when many Black men continue to degrade and put down Black women endlessly. And others saying that we are ugly, unwanted etc while White and non Black women are seen as more beautiful and desirable. Thus Black women’s dilemma in finding a mate is hard especially in this society that promotes the belief that Black women are undesirable.Honestly, I have decided to remain abstinent until I find a good, non Black man comes my way. Black men, beside my male family members who love and treat me well, haven’t shown me that they are worthy of my time or respect. I didn’t do anything to these men yet they always find ways to disrespect me and call me ugly, dark skin etc. They hate my dark skin and features and hate me on the virtue of being Black and female. No different from racists or bigots out there.

I have never had any of these experiences with White, Latino or Asian men. For the most part, non Black men have treated me with respect. They hold the doors for me, I can hold conversations with them and many of them like me and appreciate my dark skin and features. A few of them I witnessed were jerks but weren’t jerks to me. This is telling if non Blacks can be more respectful to me than men in my own race, isn’t it?

These days, I am trying to focus on bettering myself and going to school and getting a job. It is hard because of my mother’s financial situation and where I live doesn’t have much opportunities either. I realize that I need to build myself up financially, educate myself and find emotional healing before I ever find that non Black man that I am looking for. And I am telling how I feel but I don’t fault any Black woman for choosing to be with a Black man, going lesbian or choosing celibacy. We, as Black women, should do what we feel is best for us.”

Now let’s take a look at a series of  Q & A’s and comments from a Black Woman Blogger and her followers on Tumblr. This sista informed me that she gets soooo many letters from grown Black Women to Young Teen Black Girls about how they are mistreated by Black Men and Boys. She also informed me that she gets so many of these type letters that she is sometimes is afraid to check her inbox.
Follower: I hate Black Men. They don’t love, protect,  or support us like we do them. I give up!
Blogger: I understand. That’s why I only care about what’s happening to black girls and women.
Follower: “To be honest I gave up on dating or protecting black men because I feel like they use black women a lot. I only support black women.”
Blogger: “I only support black women, black women and girls are my only concern right now.”
Follower: “Why do black men have a problem with giving black women oral sex especially West Indian men? My friends keep telling me stories about exes who would tell them their vagina smells real bad, it’s dirty, getting a menstrual cycle is nasty, stinky booty, the vagina is infected because it discolored or purplish etc and the men would compare the colors to white women. They stopped dating black american men/ west indian men because they swear other men give them oral sex.”

Blogger: “Damn those men sound immature as hell. But I bet they expect women to give them oral sex funk, must, dark color, bush and all. Selfish as hell. Why do they think their genitalia is golden? I bet they know very little about the female genitalia too. I swear the way you described them they sound like children talking about a bug or something or when little boys say a girl has cooties.I’ve heard the whole black men say that black women have dark/ugly genitalia stories from black women and all I can say is, negro what color is yours? Why is it okay for yours to be dark? They must think black women are dirty down there based on that alone. What are black women suppose to look like cows? Where the only light part is in the middle? How are you colorist against vagina?”

[Note from Tired Sista: OMG! Now you have “black” men going so far as to  comparing white women’s  vaginas vs. Black Women’s Vaginas!?!? This is…..I have no words!]

Follower: “I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this? But I’ve noticed that when black men date non-black women they’re more open about their relationship? They’ll share more pictures / and are generally more public? I’ve seen this especially with black male celebrities. The women are often portrayed as a symbol of their success or ‘status’. Non-black women are precious and deserving. Whilst black women are ‘worthless’ and don’t deserve such doting treatment. They’ll keep us in the background.”

Follower: “Dating black men never goes well for me. These guys always ask me for money. Black men always asking for money for weed, tools, child support, food, parties, clothes, condoms, phone bill, car notes or abusive. Most of the women I know is paying these black men bills, bail money, dates , and sending money or barrels to their family in the jamaica, trinidad etc. I can’t take it anymore. What should I do?”

Blogger: “If you still prefer to date black men, then I think you have to be honest up front and let them know you’re not their ATM machine. If they develop hurt feelings too bad. Even if you’re just dating always keep an eye out for any of those characteristics. One thing I refuse to tolerate is a sista being used, you need to put your foot down from the get go.”

Blogger to her Readers: “T.I. has spent more time attacking black women for criticizing Iggy than the black men who call Tiny ugly unprovoked. If T.I. spent more time being a decent husband defending misogynoirists who insult his wife, he’d not be so fixated on a white blonde bitch capitalizing off of black women’s bodies. He only attacked Azealia because he has never liked her, not because she specifically insulted Tiny.”

Follower: “I’m not trying to like show off but when i got into Harvard and Rutgers my teachers decided to tell people in my class and then some black guys were like “she still a dark ass burnt bitch”, i have never done anything to them nor do i even talk to them yet they all felt like they needed to put me down for no damn reason like why do black men hate intelligent black women so damn much? Do they hate that we’re smarter and don’t take their shit? they never want to see me do anything good.”

Blogger: “CONGRATS!!!!! But, Wow,!! How disrespectful!!! We can never win with them. I’d figured they’d offer you some time of respect, especially getting into Harvard and Rutgers. WTF? So no matter what they still don’t view you as a human being to respect. I’ve told black women it doesn’t matter how much you follow the guidelines of respectability politics, black men, and white society will still have something to say about you. This is why I went a permanent “F-ck You” campaign towards everyone who isn’t a black woman.”

Follower: “Why are black men such pigs? I’ve met decent non black men. Any time I get harassed or assaulted the culprits are black men. I’ve given up on them. I’m tired of being harassed. Some guy walked by me and said you wanna fuck, I told him to shut up. He got on the defensive and said what?! He was surprised I responded. You can’t say vulgar things to me and think you can get away with it.”

Blogger: “Now sweetness you can find men like this in every type of race. A good portion of men operate with entitlement because our society and planet is still extremely misogynistic and sexist. But I understand your gripe with harassment. Many sistas have told their stories about being harassed and it seems like nothing is being done about it. These types of men feel like they can get away with it because our disgusting society thinks there is nothing wrong with it. It’s no different in the black community. I guess these dudes feel like we should be thankful they’re making advances towards us to prove that we’re attractive enough.

But you were right by checking his nasty ass for making vulgar comments towards you. I wish you had some pepper spray, that would just add insult to injury. Bruised ego and sore eyes.”

[Note From Tired Sista: If some ol’ nasty Negro comes up to me asking me some shit like that I’mma call my boys ASAP to whoop his ass. That was sooooo disrespectful. I mean what happened to men greeting women with “Hello, how are you doing?” or “Good Morning?” Good Afternoon?” . etc. etc ?!?] 

Now I’mma stop right there. I know ya’ll can’t take too much more, I sure can’t. Another WOW! to the third power. Folks, at one time in my life I could have NEVER conceived that you have what seems like a significant number of “black” men and boys who feel this much hatred and contempt of Black Women and Girls! Somethin awful is in the air! This ain’t even half the stories I have heard on and offline in the last few years!

These same Negro “boys” will raise 10 bitches in hell when they encounter a sista in IR relationships………WHILE WITH THEIR NON-BLACK/WHITE WOMEN, LOL. TALK ABOUT DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!Take it from one black woman’s experience:

“I been crying because I am soo deeply hurt by this issue. This topic has been bothering me along with other black women. Well here it goes….Yesterday I went out to the movies and dinner with my boo (white man I been seeing for a few months) and these black men were making comments about my hair talking about I’m trying to straighten my hair like a white woman and calling me a Negro bedwench. My date (white guy) jumped to my defense and said “You can not speak about black women trying to look like white women when there are white women out here walking around with fake butts and fake boobs trying to look like black women.” The weird part about this situation was that the black man was with a white woman and she had a fake butt and fake boobs. My date and I left after we were finished with our dinner. On our way driving home my date could tell i was still bothered by the black man comments about my hair. I know I should be natural and I usually am natural but I decided to wear my hair straight whats the big deal? I wanted to switch up my hair do. I think women have that right to wear their hair as they choose. My date asked me this question….” Why do black men criticize black women for wearing straight hair accusing them of looking like a white woman but black men love white women with black women features like big butts and big boobs. Why are white women with black women features considered sexy but black women with white women features is considered ugly. For example Kim Kardashian, Iggy, Nicole Austin all have fake big asses but black men love them and worship their fake asses. Gabrielle Union, Rapper Eve, Serena Williams all wear weaves and straight hair but black men hate them and claim they are copying white women calling them hairhats, but black men don’t think white girls with fake asses are trying to look like black women. Please stare your thoughts on this. Is this hypocrisy and contradiction or what?”-Black Woman to BWE Blogger


                                             A Q &A Between A Black Men and Women:

Black Man: “Why do you generalize black men so much? Not all of us are the same, I love my black women. The generalizations offend me.”

Black Woman Blogger: “And how do you think black women have been feeling for the longest? It sucks when you have to taste your own medicine huh? Welcome to our world. Sucks doesn’t it? Now you see how black women feel. Painful isn’t it?


While I agree with many things that these Black Women and Girls are saying about the way  SOME “Black Men and Boys” treat Black Women and Girls I do not agree with the generalizing. The articles, Q & As, comments, and testimonies above reveal that there is definitely a bleak and grim looking future for the American Black Man/Black Woman Collective relationship. This phenomena is being carried over into the next generation as many young Black Girls are experiencing hatred from young Black Boys who learn this behavior from the older “black” men  boys. Moreover,  I agree with Khadija that if things keep going the way they going now, the state of the Black collective relationship will mirror that of the black collective in Great Britain. While the 2015 marriage statistics reveal that most black men still marry black women (85%) there seems to be a significant number of “Black Men and Black Boys” that have a despicable, deep-seated, contempt for Black Women and Black Girls. This leads some to ask are Black Men just “settling” for Black Women, but really want White/Non-Black Women? [Side Note: I can understand why some would ask this question because it looks like it just may be true]. The comments and testimonies and or stories submitted to various Black Women Bloggers personally and that appear in discussion forums and chat rooms from (too many) Black Women and Black Girls also reveal how awfully vile and disgusting they are treated by (too many) Black Men and Black Boys and it is very,very disheartening and devastating (and these same men and boys want Black Women and Girls to continue to support them despite the mistreatment).  To add major insult to an already major injury many Black Women and Black Girls are confronted with the very sad, sad reality of self-hating, misogynioristic, colorist Black Men and Boys in their own families. Look at the Q&A below in which a young black woman share her experience with her own self-hating brother:

Follower: I think misogynoir starts at a young age. It’s blown off as them playing and teasing, and isn’t addressed. As children,3 & 5 y/o, My older brother constantly called me a bull until I got a perm because I hated feeling like I was animalish and ugly. At 18 I’m transitioning back to natural, and at 21 he calls my hair “ugly housen***ger hair” and won’t date black women period because we’re “oversensitive, loud, angry, annoying, and ghetto and not as pretty as other women” and calls it a preference.

Blogger: A bull? Comparing you to a animal? Wow!  Who taught him that at such a young age? That’s horrible. How is he insulting you in a way a white person would as a black man and your brother at that? Doesn’t he realize his hair grows like that too? He sounds like my damn brother, especially that last part about not dating black women for those reasons, when he’s no different. God damn that makes me upset. I’m so sick of this shit being spewed from black men. And then people wonder why little black girls have such low self esteem.

Misogynoir start at a early age. Remember the phrase “He’s a boy, that’s how boys are suppose to act” when they misbehave. But we tell our daughters to “Stop acting like that, that’s not cute for young girls to be acting like that, that’s not lady like”. I’ve had to hear these things constantly within my family and we wonder why there’s such disparity in the community. All of this misogynoir didn’t fall out of the air.

Furthermore, the latest interracial marriage statistics state that only 45% of Black Men marry and out of that 45%, 22% marry outside the race. So that means half of the Black Men who are marrying, half marry outside the race which is a big slice of that pie. The colorist and discriminatory choices of (too many) Black Men and boys in regards to mating, dating, marrying, and procreating goes widely unchallenged by the so-called Black Community and is just excused as “just his preference.” Many Black Women and Girls are “tone policed” (silenced) by the so-called Black Community and called a “bitter black bitch” if they dare to challenge these men and boys “preferences.” To the contrary, Black Women are the least likely of any group to marry outside of their race. However, the current 2015 marriage statistics state that Black Women’s IR marriage rate has increased to 12% from 9% (just a few short years ago; not much of an increase though I wasn’t expecting it to get much higher). *shrugs* I don’t know, if the collective relationship between the black man and black woman gets much worse, black women IR  just may increase some more. Many sistas are already expressing hatred for black men because of self-hating Negro men and boys and declaring they are “done with black men and will expand their options.” For some that option includes other women (for those who do not want a white/non-black man). Talk about the hate that hate produced…..smfh.

Many Black Women and Girls want a good black man and beautiful black babies, but with all the anti-black woman hatred coming from (too many) “black” men and boys many find themselves at a crossroads; some say they will just be alone (which is not a great option being that many if not most women want marriage and family at some point) or some just date and or marry interracially (which imo will not solve the issue either). I get sooooo angry because Black Women and Girls shouldn’t have to worry about whether they can attract and or marry a Black Man. First, the system of racism white supremacy is ultimately responsible as it teaches every man and boy on this planet to devalue and disrespect the huemanity and femininity of Black Women and Girls. Second, Black Men have to take some responsibility for allowing themselves and their sons to be continuously brain trashed by the white supremacist beauty standards and media. Black boys need to be taught starting at a young age to honor and love Black Girlhood/Womanhood.

The public demeaning, degradation, and desecration of Black Womanhood by “Black” Men have some asking:

While these Negros are on television, social media, YouTube, blogs, etc. degrading and demeaning Black Women, the entire world is watching and it is so very embarrassing!  Black Women and Girls report that even White and non-white poc are asking, “Why Black Men Hate Black Women So Much?” or saying things like “Black Men don’t like Black Women!” Just check out the following Q & As from a Tumblr followers to their Black Woman Blogger:

Follower: I’ve seen white people ask why black men put down their own women so much. It makes me realize that people see this shit. They see black men irrationally hating us. They see the black women jokes and memes. They see black men and their glorification of non-black women. But do black men see this. Do they see how they publicly and unashamedly dehumanize us? Do they see how ridiculous and lost they look for doing this? I feel like the world is laughing at us.

Blogger: Believe me, black men see it, but they just don’t care. I don’t know who they are trying to please by putting down black women. White men? Non-black women? Other black men?
[Side note: Many Black Men should be REALLY outraged by this behavior also cause it makes ALL Black Men look bad in front of the whole world; there remains too much silence on this from the so-called Black Community. Not too many seem to care cause we don’t see anyone holding them accountable].
NEGRO MALES WHO BASH BLACK WOMEN ARE MOTHERFUCKING COWARDS!!! These men boys don’t have the balls to stand up like real men and confront the people and circumstances that are really the source of their ills…..white people (especially white men since they blame white men more so while ignoring the role white women play) and the system of racism white supremacy. So they attack the black woman, an easy target. It’s just easier! There are NO REPERCUSSIONS OR CONSEQUENCES FOR DISRESPECTING A BLACK WOMAN…….NOT FROM SOCIETY OR THE SO-CALLED BLACK COMMUNITY!!! THE SO-CALLED BLACK COMMUNITY IS JUST LIKE THE REST OF SOCIETY WHEN IT COMES TO HOW THEY TREAT BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS!!! I AM SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!
The million dollar questions of the century: ” As the plight of the U.S. Black Collective  gets worse (all signs point that it will ; i.e. the so-called black community becoming a permanent underclass if attitudes and behaviors don’t change) will the Black Man/Black Woman Relationship remain irreparable forever?” “Will the Black Female/Male Relationship be repaired so that the  “community” can become a REAL Living, Thriving, United, Successful community with self-loving, self-respecting, and self-actualizing individuals before it’s too late?”   All I can say is as of right now it doesn’t look like it will, but only time will tell.
Stay posted for part II!

18 thoughts on “A Very SAD, SAD, SAD State of Affairs: The (What Looks Like) A Bleak Future Of The Collective Black Male/Female Relationship (Part I)

  1. So this was a great read. I’m not mad or even sad about it, but it is disappointing to know that so many Black boys participate in such intraracism. It’s so deeply rooted. If you have a Black male who is growing up without any positive Black male role models and/or a mother who doesn’t love herself enough to engage in positive romantic relationships with Black men, who also listens to crap trap music and sees images of ‘successful,’ seemingly happy relationships with non-Black women, what is his impressionable young mind gonna think?
    Plus we still have Black girls who hate themselves having + raising Black girls to hate their skin and natural hair and natural beauty.
    I have an uncle who I grew up around. In my 30 years, I’ve never seen him with a Black woman. He never dissed Black women, but he did say that the Black women he’s encountered and tried to date always had insecurity issues with their hair and skin and just lacking self-love. Now I cannot be mad at that! How can you love someone who doesn’t love herself?
    It seems much too far gone to mend, but I know Black men who still uphold Black queens on the pedestal they belong. I still see men checking other men for dissing Black women. We still have an ally in Black men. The problem is that we give the self-hating coons too much damn attention. We hold celebrities as the standard. We fight for scraps of love and attention and degrade ourselves to be with these dogs, so what are they supposed to think of us?
    I’m not solely going to blame Black men or Black women. We all need to step back and take a look at what we’re contributing and make necessary changes.

    I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say on part II. This was great. Thank you starting and continuing the necessary dialogue.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow!!!! That was really DEEP TS! You made some very strong points. This was a good post. It’ll take me a while to digest it all. But I read it all though.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You know what’s ultimately saddest about this, is the fact that you’ll never understand how white fascists have conditioned Black men AND women to hate ourselves and each other.

    What you’ll never realize is the same hatred(s) you see Black men lobbing at Black women, is the same kind Black women lob at Black men.

    And ultimately, this kind of rhetoric does nothing to heal the rift between Black men and women, but I don’t think you ever really cared about that anyway.

    I guess this was evident when you told me that the rift between Black men and women was ‘irreparable’, and the campaign to save the Black family was officially dead…or maybe you just really don’t want the rift between Black men and women to end; if it did, what would you have to write about?

    I can’t believe you asked me for tips on how to curate a blog, and then went on to create something this divisive to our Diaspora.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. @ MontUHURU Mimia

      You know what’s ultimately saddest about this, is the fact that you’ll never understand how white fascists have conditioned Black men AND women to hate ourselves and each other.

      I have a VERY GOOD OVERSTANDING of how the white facists have conditioned Black Men and Women to hate ourselves and each other. Many of my readers do as well, but others don’t.

      What you’ll never realize is the same hatred(s) you see Black men lobbing at Black women, is the same kind Black women lob at Black men.

      I stated very clearly in the 3rd paragraph that I will be working on part 2, which will cover how black women contribute to the gender wars. Oh yeah, I have a lot to say about that too. I also stated very clearly that this is NOT ALL Black Men. You shouldn’t even gotten offended about it. smh How about wait and see what I’m gonna say.

      And ultimately, this kind of rhetoric does nothing to heal the rift between Black men and women, but I don’t think you ever really cared about that anyway.

      This is not just rhetoric I’m talking. You talk as if I’m creating more problems. The views I posted above are the views and or rhetoric of (too) many men and women in the diaspora (mostly black american) and I’m illustrating how bad the rift has gotten. While I believe SOME black men engage in this behavior, I don’t agree with the generalizing of black men. I made that very clear, bruh. I’m bringing awareness because some people don’t see how bad it is. I never cared?!? Really, bruh?!? If I didn’t care I would just dismiss/ignore the problem like a lot of black men and women do.

      I guess this was evident when you told me that the rift between Black men and women was ‘irreparable’, and the campaign to save the Black family was officially dead…or maybe you just really don’t want the rift between Black men and women to end; if it did, what would you have to write about?

      I said the rift between the black man and woman is ‘irreparable’. I didn’t say the black family was officially dead. You said I said the latter. lol. On an individual level some of us of can and do WANT to repair our relationships, but I was discussing the issue on a collective level. Too many of us seem to not want to repair the rift and that’s the truth. I don’t want it to end?!? Really?!? So I just love to see Black Men and Women drag each other through the mud and back and to hell and back?!? I see the shit every day and it brings me ABSOLUTELY NO PLEASURE.

      I can’t believe you asked me for tips on how to curate a blog, and then went on to create something this divisive to our Diaspora.

      Because you are more experienced in blogging. I’m supposed to ask someone whose inexperienced?!? What’s saddest to me is you didn’t see my purpose for writing this. I went about differently than you would, that does not make it wrong. I’m disappointed in you. You are one of the many I would look to just read what I have to say and comment. You don’t necessarily have to like what I write and or agree with it. I didn’t write this to be “divisive,” I wrote this to bring awareness to how the rift has gotten worse. This is MY blog to vent if I want to. I wrote it to create some dialogue. But it’s alright bruh, I still got mad love for ya.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ‘Sista’…

        ‘I said the rift between the black man and woman is ‘irreparable’.’

        What you need to ‘overstand’ is thinking this way, means it’s check and mate, the game’s over for you doing anything in the way of uniting Black men and women.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent article Sister.

    Colorism and misogynoir (which are both abominable) are serious problems in our communities. We have to talk about these issues and confront these evils. The black youth, from a very early age, definitely should be taught about the dignity of black people and how misogynoir has no place in our society. This will be a hard battle, but it’s a necessary battle for us to fight in our liberation struggle. Black women and Black men should be treated with dignity and with respect. Anyone (who is black) that disrespects the massive contributions of black people, especially black women, in the struggle for liberation is a total sellout and traitor. The slander against black women must be repudiated and more black men have to check these misogynists too.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. @ Timothy

      Colorism and misogynoir (which are both abominable) are serious problems in our communities. We have to talk about these issues and confront these evils.

      I cosign 100%. Colorism and misogynoir are some of the biggest diseases plaguing the black community. Colorism and misogynoir is the byproducts of white supremacy racism and go hand in hand with self-hatred. These two issues besides general self-hatred is what’s causing the rift between black men and women. The ignorance, denial, and the resistance to discuss them has to stop. It must, it must be confronted……. NOW. I will be discussing this in an upcoming post.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with you with what you say about the black men from West India, I live in UK and I can testify that the number of interracial marriages between whites and Caribbean peoples is growing visibly!
    it didn’t surprise me because the majority of the Caribbean population refuse to recognize their African origins! Our people has become a shameful!
    The truth that men blacks are not Malcolm X, they do not want to work, want an easy woman, submissive and that works for them! Why their dating ugly white women and sometimes fat, because white women are easy and are sexually available than black women! If some black women believe white men are the solution is not true! White men are not the salvation of black women!
    Why we should love one who hates us, abuses us and doesn’t respect the black beauty of black women?
    I never believed that white men love black women! For my personal experience for me all white men are racist! They are the only racial group of men that I find them disgusting! Love a white person is a convenience, is an excuse for not talk about the “white racism”.
    We (black people) have the power to decide whether to destroy our people or save, or destroy them, the solution we all know only that most of us prefer the surrender!
    That is just one of the reasons why i can’t be friends with or be in a relationship with white people, because a lot of them are ignorant and insensitive to the plight of black people, even the ones that are supposedly liberal are like this, and quite frankly that shit really annoys the hell out of me!
    As long as they’re not willing to DIE for us, they don’t love us!Period

    Liked by 2 people

  6. @MontUHURU Mimia

    What you need to ‘overstand’ is thinking this way, means it’s check and mate, the game’s over for you doing anything in the way of uniting Black men and women.

    I overstand that too and you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. I’ve been in this fight for 14 years (I’m sure you been in it longer than me) and I admit that there were many times I’ve had bouts of feeling “checkmated” just like you probably had plenty bouts of ‘Black Nationalist’ fatigue. Then there were many times when I felt optimistic as you have felt many times too. In my humble opinion, it’s just apart of the journey. I’m not gonna lie and say that I feel optimistic all the time. Other brothas and sistas experience this emotional rollar coaster too.

    You read my profile and you know I keep it 100 with you and everybody, just like you keep it 100 with me and your other readers. Whether I am venting or stating facts, I keep it 100. This is kinda like a journal for as well as giving info. I am thinking about doing a part III (most likely will) discussing about solutions, which I have my own opinions of how the rift may most likely end and it’s optimistic. Much love!


  7. The comment below discusses black men and their hatred for black women. I found it on youtube and find it interesting.

    one user’s comment:
    “Some BM are brainwash to praise white and honorary white beauty as racial white program. Only reason they got up is: bw value bm’s as most handsome than wm.”

    another user’s response:
    Frankly, I always thought black women were just trying to be nice to black men by letting them think they looked so much better than other races of men. I know for a fact that the black man hates (and wants to be) the WHITE MAN soooo badly that if black women ever told him that WHITE MEN looked better than him, he wouldn’t be able to handle that. He would lose his shit & might even become violent.

    Think about it: How can black men consider themselves as looking better than all other men yet get online and make videos telling the world that black women (that look JUST LIKE HIM) are supposedly the ugliest women on the planet? It just makes no sense. So, I think really that black women have gassed black men’s heads out of fear of violence. For example, black men look better than biracial men? I’m sorry, there’s no way. No way in hell. Black men think they look better than Brad Pitt, Chace Crawford, and Jared Leto, or Ian Sommerhalder (I could go on and on) . No way in hell. At least in my opinion. It’s time to be realistic and stop gassing black men’s heads out of fear. If they claim black women look worse, then THEY look worse too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Frankly, I always thought black women were just trying to be nice to black men by letting them think they looked so much better than other races of men. I know for a fact that the black man hates (and wants to be) the WHITE MAN soooo badly that if black women ever told him that WHITE MEN looked better than him, he wouldn’t be able to handle that. He would lose his shit & might even become violent.”
      I hope tis person is thinking for themselves. I do NOT want to be white! Never have and never will. So you’re saying biracial men look better? These guys aren’t even really black. You do know that right? Then you name all these white celebs. Are you saying white guys look better than black men in general? Please clarify for me. I know a lot of black women read these anti-black women posts with ignorant black men. Then want to get upset and pissed off and go at ALL black men. Be very careful with that Kowaba. It seems people let their emotions get the best of them when they read negative comments by others. We have to be very careful with that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Kushite Prince,
        I didn’t write any of the comments I only stated that I found it on youtube and found it interesting. The two paragraphs are from the youtube commenter.
        I never said biracial men look better; actually, I think biracial people look quite odd (including myself). No, I’m not saying white people look better than black people in general. Sorry for the confusion; I should have stated if I wrote it and if I agreed with it. The part that I do agree with is that SOME black men want to be like the white man. I realize now that the comment didn’t clarify or qualify that not all black men want to be white. I’m speaking from my own experience with my father and (well I guess my brother really doesn’t count except most of society considers him black), but my father said how he goes with white women because it makes white men angry.

        Also, I did agree with when the commenter mentions how black men go on bashing black women they are really bashing themselves and how hypocritical it is of them, but again you can find black women doing the same thing. It’s so crazy. Point this out to the individual and they go into defense mode. Recently my father told me how he hates when people in his family have nappy hair and don’t comb their hair. I didn’t ask if he was referring to me, I’m assuming he was though. I have my hair in an Afro (and I do comb it) and he was the one who made my hair that way because my mom has straight hair and isn’t black. So it is his fault yet I get blamed, but then again I’m dealing with a person who has lost their mind and they don’t even know it. It’s just such a shame that people have these neuroses and pass it onto their children because they refuse to heal themselves.

        Those black men who want to be white (or I will even expand this to black women as well) suffer from severely low self esteem and a sense of shame of who they are. The environment(media) encourages this and if a person is not guided or figures it out on their own they will become a walking casualty. Although my father is a self hating black man and I’m a product of his battered psychological condition, I don’t have a hatred for all black men. I remember those black males that have respected me and helped me during my college years. These men were not self hating black men and only dated black women(with two black parents),mind you, I completely respect their stance and hope they can bring confident and emotionally and psychologically stable offspring into the world. Sorry again for the confusion. :/

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Okay that’s cool. I guess there was a some confusion then. But I feel for you though. Your father had some real serious elf hate issues. That’s really sad. I’ve seen that some much with many interracial daters. Most are too scared to admit they hate themselves though. But to me,it seems very apparent. Thanks for the reply and clarification.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. That posterr was wrong that black women are just “gassing up ” black men’s head out of fear. Black women really are attracted to and love black men. We have a spiritual connection to black men like no other. Unfortunately, some negros because of self-hate don’t see or get it.

      I am sorry that you have to deal with your dad’s self-hate. It’s hard dealing and being around people like this in your family, especially a parent.I’m sure all of us have self-haters in our family. I sure do. smdh


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