A Very SAD, SAD, SAD State of Affairs: The (What Looks Like) A Bleak Future Of The Collective Black Male/Female Relationship (Part I)

From One BW poster to a BW Blogger:  “I read this article, the data and comments. While it is generally true that black women love black men to the point they’d rather be miserable with them than without them to the point of being the side pussy, knowingly and often quietly accepting being with black men who have no intention of being monogamous or up front and open polygamy. Or when the hurt is too much turn to other women or other men. All of this is true and often black men go silent with this or advocate this. It is a wonder why black women seek the image of black men and raise him up to God status in her mind when black men don’t do the same under this system. Even when black women marry out they still yearn for black men. The numbers don’t lie.It seems that black men who looking to morph black women into something else as I have heard black men talk of mixed black women as the new black woman and while they are with non black women and light women they often despise their not so light offspring girls and lament the loss of darkness in the boys. In general it doesn’t feel as though black women are hated by black men, it is verified and known.

I know of too many black women who are everything a man could want but is holding out for a brotha. As more black men are telling black women to go and are now pushing black women to date interracial and marry the more it will happen. Make no mistake black women are wanted and once they go in any real number things are going to change rapidly.

After the big slavery and integration it wasn’t black women who started to marry out nor date or sex out. Look at most black men revolutionaries and you’ll find white or other non black women. Now do the same for black women and it’s not the case. So who loves who?

Some how they think an alabaster black woman will appear and want them. Once dating out becomes the norm for black women do black men really think that preference will remain the same? I’m already seeing this happen and I find it hard to tell them there’s better out there because really there isn’t.”

From one BW poster to another: @Jane Doe, “You say black women will lick the boots of black men while black men praise all other non-black women (I’m paraphrasing here). You say black women ADORE black men. When I hear BW say that, I never can understand what is so “adorable” about BM. I find BM mean, generally speaking. To me personally, they seem mean to BW like BW are just year old dog poop. It just never made sense to me. How can one half of the race be anamored with the other, while the other half takes a dump on that first half every day (in music, online, and on YouTube)? BW make it clear every day that they like to be shyte on and do not need any love whatsoever in return. It’s weid.”

From One BW poster to a BW Blogger: “I read this post and I am very impressed with this article. I am glad a Black woman understands and realizes the dilemma that many Black women face in this country when many Black men continue to degrade and put down Black women endlessly. And others saying that we are ugly, unwanted etc while White and non Black women are seen as more beautiful and desirable. Thus Black women’s dilemma in finding a mate is hard especially in this society that promotes the belief that Black women are undesirable.Honestly, I have decided to remain abstinent until I find a good, non Black man comes my way. Black men, beside my male family members who love and treat me well, haven’t shown me that they are worthy of my time or respect. I didn’t do anything to these men yet they always find ways to disrespect me and call me ugly, dark skin etc. They hate my dark skin and features and hate me on the virtue of being Black and female. No different from racists or bigots out there.

I have never had any of these experiences with White, Latino or Asian men. For the most part, non Black men have treated me with respect. They hold the doors for me, I can hold conversations with them and many of them like me and appreciate my dark skin and features. A few of them I witnessed were jerks but weren’t jerks to me. This is telling if non Blacks can be more respectful to me than men in my own race, isn’t it?

These days, I am trying to focus on bettering myself and going to school and getting a job. It is hard because of my mother’s financial situation and where I live doesn’t have much opportunities either. I realize that I need to build myself up financially, educate myself and find emotional healing before I ever find that non Black man that I am looking for. And I am telling how I feel but I don’t fault any Black woman for choosing to be with a Black man, going lesbian or choosing celibacy. We, as Black women, should do what we feel is best for us.”

Now let’s take a look at a series of  Q & A’s and comments from a Black Woman Blogger and her followers on Tumblr. This sista informed me that she gets soooo many letters from grown Black Women to Young Teen Black Girls about how they are mistreated by Black Men and Boys. She also informed me that she gets so many of these type letters that she is sometimes is afraid to check her inbox.
Follower: I hate Black Men. They don’t love, protect,  or support us like we do them. I give up!
Blogger: I understand. That’s why I only care about what’s happening to black girls and women.
Follower: “To be honest I gave up on dating or protecting black men because I feel like they use black women a lot. I only support black women.”
Blogger: “I only support black women, black women and girls are my only concern right now.”
Follower: “Why do black men have a problem with giving black women oral sex especially West Indian men? My friends keep telling me stories about exes who would tell them their vagina smells real bad, it’s dirty, getting a menstrual cycle is nasty, stinky booty, the vagina is infected because it discolored or purplish etc and the men would compare the colors to white women. They stopped dating black american men/ west indian men because they swear other men give them oral sex.”

Blogger: “Damn those men sound immature as hell. But I bet they expect women to give them oral sex funk, must, dark color, bush and all. Selfish as hell. Why do they think their genitalia is golden? I bet they know very little about the female genitalia too. I swear the way you described them they sound like children talking about a bug or something or when little boys say a girl has cooties.I’ve heard the whole black men say that black women have dark/ugly genitalia stories from black women and all I can say is, negro what color is yours? Why is it okay for yours to be dark? They must think black women are dirty down there based on that alone. What are black women suppose to look like cows? Where the only light part is in the middle? How are you colorist against vagina?”

[Note from Tired Sista: OMG! Now you have “black” men going so far as to  comparing white women’s  vaginas vs. Black Women’s Vaginas!?!? This is…..I have no words!]

Follower: “I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this? But I’ve noticed that when black men date non-black women they’re more open about their relationship? They’ll share more pictures / and are generally more public? I’ve seen this especially with black male celebrities. The women are often portrayed as a symbol of their success or ‘status’. Non-black women are precious and deserving. Whilst black women are ‘worthless’ and don’t deserve such doting treatment. They’ll keep us in the background.”

Follower: “Dating black men never goes well for me. These guys always ask me for money. Black men always asking for money for weed, tools, child support, food, parties, clothes, condoms, phone bill, car notes or abusive. Most of the women I know is paying these black men bills, bail money, dates , and sending money or barrels to their family in the jamaica, trinidad etc. I can’t take it anymore. What should I do?”

Blogger: “If you still prefer to date black men, then I think you have to be honest up front and let them know you’re not their ATM machine. If they develop hurt feelings too bad. Even if you’re just dating always keep an eye out for any of those characteristics. One thing I refuse to tolerate is a sista being used, you need to put your foot down from the get go.”

Blogger to her Readers: “T.I. has spent more time attacking black women for criticizing Iggy than the black men who call Tiny ugly unprovoked. If T.I. spent more time being a decent husband defending misogynoirists who insult his wife, he’d not be so fixated on a white blonde bitch capitalizing off of black women’s bodies. He only attacked Azealia because he has never liked her, not because she specifically insulted Tiny.”

Follower: “I’m not trying to like show off but when i got into Harvard and Rutgers my teachers decided to tell people in my class and then some black guys were like “she still a dark ass burnt bitch”, i have never done anything to them nor do i even talk to them yet they all felt like they needed to put me down for no damn reason like why do black men hate intelligent black women so damn much? Do they hate that we’re smarter and don’t take their shit? they never want to see me do anything good.”

Blogger: “CONGRATS!!!!! But, Wow,!! How disrespectful!!! We can never win with them. I’d figured they’d offer you some time of respect, especially getting into Harvard and Rutgers. WTF? So no matter what they still don’t view you as a human being to respect. I’ve told black women it doesn’t matter how much you follow the guidelines of respectability politics, black men, and white society will still have something to say about you. This is why I went a permanent “F-ck You” campaign towards everyone who isn’t a black woman.”

Follower: “Why are black men such pigs? I’ve met decent non black men. Any time I get harassed or assaulted the culprits are black men. I’ve given up on them. I’m tired of being harassed. Some guy walked by me and said you wanna fuck, I told him to shut up. He got on the defensive and said what?! He was surprised I responded. You can’t say vulgar things to me and think you can get away with it.”

Blogger: “Now sweetness you can find men like this in every type of race. A good portion of men operate with entitlement because our society and planet is still extremely misogynistic and sexist. But I understand your gripe with harassment. Many sistas have told their stories about being harassed and it seems like nothing is being done about it. These types of men feel like they can get away with it because our disgusting society thinks there is nothing wrong with it. It’s no different in the black community. I guess these dudes feel like we should be thankful they’re making advances towards us to prove that we’re attractive enough.

But you were right by checking his nasty ass for making vulgar comments towards you. I wish you had some pepper spray, that would just add insult to injury. Bruised ego and sore eyes.”

[Note From Tired Sista: If some ol’ nasty Negro comes up to me asking me some shit like that I’mma call my boys ASAP to whoop his ass. That was sooooo disrespectful. I mean what happened to men greeting women with “Hello, how are you doing?” or “Good Morning?” Good Afternoon?” . etc. etc ?!?] 

Now I’mma stop right there. I know ya’ll can’t take too much more, I sure can’t. Another WOW! to the third power. Folks, at one time in my life I could have NEVER conceived that you have what seems like a significant number of “black” men and boys who feel this much hatred and contempt of Black Women and Girls! Somethin awful is in the air! This ain’t even half the stories I have heard on and offline in the last few years!

These same Negro “boys” will raise 10 bitches in hell when they encounter a sista in IR relationships………WHILE WITH THEIR NON-BLACK/WHITE WOMEN, LOL. TALK ABOUT DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!Take it from one black woman’s experience:

“I been crying because I am soo deeply hurt by this issue. This topic has been bothering me along with other black women. Well here it goes….Yesterday I went out to the movies and dinner with my boo (white man I been seeing for a few months) and these black men were making comments about my hair talking about I’m trying to straighten my hair like a white woman and calling me a Negro bedwench. My date (white guy) jumped to my defense and said “You can not speak about black women trying to look like white women when there are white women out here walking around with fake butts and fake boobs trying to look like black women.” The weird part about this situation was that the black man was with a white woman and she had a fake butt and fake boobs. My date and I left after we were finished with our dinner. On our way driving home my date could tell i was still bothered by the black man comments about my hair. I know I should be natural and I usually am natural but I decided to wear my hair straight whats the big deal? I wanted to switch up my hair do. I think women have that right to wear their hair as they choose. My date asked me this question….” Why do black men criticize black women for wearing straight hair accusing them of looking like a white woman but black men love white women with black women features like big butts and big boobs. Why are white women with black women features considered sexy but black women with white women features is considered ugly. For example Kim Kardashian, Iggy, Nicole Austin all have fake big asses but black men love them and worship their fake asses. Gabrielle Union, Rapper Eve, Serena Williams all wear weaves and straight hair but black men hate them and claim they are copying white women calling them hairhats, but black men don’t think white girls with fake asses are trying to look like black women. Please stare your thoughts on this. Is this hypocrisy and contradiction or what?”-Black Woman to BWE Blogger


                                             A Q &A Between A Black Men and Women:

Black Man: “Why do you generalize black men so much? Not all of us are the same, I love my black women. The generalizations offend me.”

Black Woman Blogger: “And how do you think black women have been feeling for the longest? It sucks when you have to taste your own medicine huh? Welcome to our world. Sucks doesn’t it? Now you see how black women feel. Painful isn’t it?


While I agree with many things that these Black Women and Girls are saying about the way  SOME “Black Men and Boys” treat Black Women and Girls I do not agree with the generalizing. The articles, Q & As, comments, and testimonies above reveal that there is definitely a bleak and grim looking future for the American Black Man/Black Woman Collective relationship. This phenomena is being carried over into the next generation as many young Black Girls are experiencing hatred from young Black Boys who learn this behavior from the older “black” men  boys. Moreover,  I agree with Khadija that if things keep going the way they going now, the state of the Black collective relationship will mirror that of the black collective in Great Britain. While the 2015 marriage statistics reveal that most black men still marry black women (85%) there seems to be a significant number of “Black Men and Black Boys” that have a despicable, deep-seated, contempt for Black Women and Black Girls. This leads some to ask are Black Men just “settling” for Black Women, but really want White/Non-Black Women? [Side Note: I can understand why some would ask this question because it looks like it just may be true]. The comments and testimonies and or stories submitted to various Black Women Bloggers personally and that appear in discussion forums and chat rooms from (too many) Black Women and Black Girls also reveal how awfully vile and disgusting they are treated by (too many) Black Men and Black Boys and it is very,very disheartening and devastating (and these same men and boys want Black Women and Girls to continue to support them despite the mistreatment).  To add major insult to an already major injury many Black Women and Black Girls are confronted with the very sad, sad reality of self-hating, misogynioristic, colorist Black Men and Boys in their own families. Look at the Q&A below in which a young black woman share her experience with her own self-hating brother:

Follower: I think misogynoir starts at a young age. It’s blown off as them playing and teasing, and isn’t addressed. As children,3 & 5 y/o, My older brother constantly called me a bull until I got a perm because I hated feeling like I was animalish and ugly. At 18 I’m transitioning back to natural, and at 21 he calls my hair “ugly housen***ger hair” and won’t date black women period because we’re “oversensitive, loud, angry, annoying, and ghetto and not as pretty as other women” and calls it a preference.

Blogger: A bull? Comparing you to a animal? Wow!  Who taught him that at such a young age? That’s horrible. How is he insulting you in a way a white person would as a black man and your brother at that? Doesn’t he realize his hair grows like that too? He sounds like my damn brother, especially that last part about not dating black women for those reasons, when he’s no different. God damn that makes me upset. I’m so sick of this shit being spewed from black men. And then people wonder why little black girls have such low self esteem.

Misogynoir start at a early age. Remember the phrase “He’s a boy, that’s how boys are suppose to act” when they misbehave. But we tell our daughters to “Stop acting like that, that’s not cute for young girls to be acting like that, that’s not lady like”. I’ve had to hear these things constantly within my family and we wonder why there’s such disparity in the community. All of this misogynoir didn’t fall out of the air.

Furthermore, the latest interracial marriage statistics state that only 45% of Black Men marry and out of that 45%, 22% marry outside the race. So that means half of the Black Men who are marrying, half marry outside the race which is a big slice of that pie. The colorist and discriminatory choices of (too many) Black Men and boys in regards to mating, dating, marrying, and procreating goes widely unchallenged by the so-called Black Community and is just excused as “just his preference.” Many Black Women and Girls are “tone policed” (silenced) by the so-called Black Community and called a “bitter black bitch” if they dare to challenge these men and boys “preferences.” To the contrary, Black Women are the least likely of any group to marry outside of their race. However, the current 2015 marriage statistics state that Black Women’s IR marriage rate has increased to 12% from 9% (just a few short years ago; not much of an increase though I wasn’t expecting it to get much higher). *shrugs* I don’t know, if the collective relationship between the black man and black woman gets much worse, black women IR  just may increase some more. Many sistas are already expressing hatred for black men because of self-hating Negro men and boys and declaring they are “done with black men and will expand their options.” For some that option includes other women (for those who do not want a white/non-black man). Talk about the hate that hate produced…..smfh.

Many Black Women and Girls want a good black man and beautiful black babies, but with all the anti-black woman hatred coming from (too many) “black” men and boys many find themselves at a crossroads; some say they will just be alone (which is not a great option being that many if not most women want marriage and family at some point) or some just date and or marry interracially (which imo will not solve the issue either). I get sooooo angry because Black Women and Girls shouldn’t have to worry about whether they can attract and or marry a Black Man. First, the system of racism white supremacy is ultimately responsible as it teaches every man and boy on this planet to devalue and disrespect the huemanity and femininity of Black Women and Girls. Second, Black Men have to take some responsibility for allowing themselves and their sons to be continuously brain trashed by the white supremacist beauty standards and media. Black boys need to be taught starting at a young age to honor and love Black Girlhood/Womanhood.

The public demeaning, degradation, and desecration of Black Womanhood by “Black” Men have some asking:

While these Negros are on television, social media, YouTube, blogs, etc. degrading and demeaning Black Women, the entire world is watching and it is so very embarrassing!  Black Women and Girls report that even White and non-white poc are asking, “Why Black Men Hate Black Women So Much?” or saying things like “Black Men don’t like Black Women!” Just check out the following Q & As from a Tumblr followers to their Black Woman Blogger:

Follower: I’ve seen white people ask why black men put down their own women so much. It makes me realize that people see this shit. They see black men irrationally hating us. They see the black women jokes and memes. They see black men and their glorification of non-black women. But do black men see this. Do they see how they publicly and unashamedly dehumanize us? Do they see how ridiculous and lost they look for doing this? I feel like the world is laughing at us.

Blogger: Believe me, black men see it, but they just don’t care. I don’t know who they are trying to please by putting down black women. White men? Non-black women? Other black men?
[Side note: Many Black Men should be REALLY outraged by this behavior also cause it makes ALL Black Men look bad in front of the whole world; there remains too much silence on this from the so-called Black Community. Not too many seem to care cause we don’t see anyone holding them accountable].
NEGRO MALES WHO BASH BLACK WOMEN ARE MOTHERFUCKING COWARDS!!! These men boys don’t have the balls to stand up like real men and confront the people and circumstances that are really the source of their ills…..white people (especially white men since they blame white men more so while ignoring the role white women play) and the system of racism white supremacy. So they attack the black woman, an easy target. It’s just easier! There are NO REPERCUSSIONS OR CONSEQUENCES FOR DISRESPECTING A BLACK WOMAN…….NOT FROM SOCIETY OR THE SO-CALLED BLACK COMMUNITY!!! THE SO-CALLED BLACK COMMUNITY IS JUST LIKE THE REST OF SOCIETY WHEN IT COMES TO HOW THEY TREAT BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS!!! I AM SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!
The million dollar questions of the century: ” As the plight of the U.S. Black Collective  gets worse (all signs point that it will ; i.e. the so-called black community becoming a permanent underclass if attitudes and behaviors don’t change) will the Black Man/Black Woman Relationship remain irreparable forever?” “Will the Black Female/Male Relationship be repaired so that the  “community” can become a REAL Living, Thriving, United, Successful community with self-loving, self-respecting, and self-actualizing individuals before it’s too late?”   All I can say is as of right now it doesn’t look like it will, but only time will tell.
Stay posted for part II!

Sandra Bland, Misogynoir, and the Angry Black Woman Narrative

                            Sandra Bland

In the last year, I’ve been studying and observing how black women and black girls suffer and experience sexism and misogyny from (too) many black men, (too) many other black women and girls, white people, and non-black people. Those of you who frequent my blog are familiar with me using the term misogynoir (anti-black misogyny toward black women and girls, specifically) coined by black feminist scholar Moya Bailey. I will be using that term a lot so get use to it, LOL.

Some of you may already assume that I am a feminist and or a womanist (a term coined by Alice Walker to describe black women’s unique feminist struggle separate from that of white women). No, I don’t call myself neither one, but I am aware that as a black woman in a anti-woman, anti-black white supremacist patriarchal society that I need to be REALLY concerned about the plight of the original black woman on this planet. This does not make me apathetic or unconcerned about the plight of the original black man or black people in general nor does it make me anti-black man (this is what a lot of black feminist/womanist and other black women (who are concerned or just make mention about the black woman’s plight) is accused of being by the so-called black community). I can be pro-black woman and pro-black man, which equals to being pro-black people at the same time.

I, like many black women who either agree with feminist and or womanist ideology from a black woman’s perspective or call oneself a feminist and or womanist DO NOT subscribe to the tenets of white mainstream feminism because we Overstand that with all the lip service white women give about all women being one “sisterhood” that they really could give 2 flying fucks about black women’s unique issues with women’s rights. Now with all that said I’m seeing that Sandra Bland’s tragic death may just start shedding more light on the black woman’s struggle with the intersecting oppressions of racism white supremacy, sexism, and misogyny (misogynoir). i say this because whenever there is discourse around black issues, black men are at the center as if other black people don’t exist (black women, black children, black gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people) are not affected and or cis hetero (straight black men who were born black men) black men are the only victims of racism white supremacy.  [Side Note: No, I don’t promote or condone homosexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism or transgenderism for black people, but these sisters and brothers are black too and my concern is about the welfare of ALL black people]. Many of us couldn’t be more tired. The so-called black community must start addressing the similar and unique issues of ALL black people. Moving on…..

“Expert” and personal opinions about what really happened to Sandra Bland are rife with racism white supremacy and misogynoir. The white supremacist media couldn’t wait until this sista was in the ground to start the “angry black woman” narrative. “Well, if she didn’t have an attitude, she would still be alive” is what they say to justify her death. To no surprise, you have the Negro defense attorneys among us who believe everything the media says is the gospel and have joined the white supremacist and suspected racist in trying to absolve “massa” of any wrong doing.  Sandra Bland was made out to be this “big black boogeywoman” the opposite of the “black boogeyman” caricature who was “threatening” to the white police officer whose bruised ego couldn’t take a black woman demanding that her rights no to be violated.To Encinia (whatever that crackkker name is) and the media she was just some black angry hostile beast who needed taming. Sandra had a right to be angry, any black person in their right mind would be angry at the history and the continuous and  increasingly constant domestic terrorism we’ve been experiencing in the last several years and since the first kidnapped Africans landed on these shores in 1619 . I’m angry as hell and I’m sooo sick and tired of this anti-black, anti-black people, anti-black man, anti-black woman country and society! R.I.P. Sandra.

Highly Insulting Memes and Tweets That “Black” People/ “Black Men” Post on Social Media About Black Women and The So-Called Black Community Doesn’t Say Or DO ABSOLUTELY A DAMN THANG ABOUT IT….BUT LAUGH AND REPOST THEM, OR JUST REMAIN SILENT!

EVERY GOTDAMN DAY, ALL DAY black women and girls report having to endure mockery, ridicule, intraracism (a.k.a. colorism), sexism, and misogynoir (anti-black misogyny) not only from whites, but from MANY in our own “community” not only offline, but online and the shit is baaad,  OUT OF CONTROL, and  it’s not getting any  better. This is the typical day in certain Negro spaces online in which Negros along with everybody else create racist, colorist, misogynoiristic memes and tweets about Black Women and Girls. Demonizing, demeaning, and de-humanizing Black Women and Girls is a past-time on social media and THE SO-CALLED BLACK COMMUNITY SAY OR DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT IT BUT LAUGH AND MOCK, SHARE AND RE-TWEET, OR JUST REMAIN SILENT .

In the last year or two I have come to realize that BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS ARE GREATLY DE-VALUED AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROTECTION FROM ANYONE, NOT WHITES, NON-BLACK POC, AND EVEN  OUR OWN “COMMUNITY.” The late great brother Malcolm X said, “THE BLACK WOMAN IS THE MOST UNPROTECTED PERSON IN AMERICA”. He knew exactly what he was talking about and he knew that the black collective was guilty of not protecting their women and girls. DAMMIT where is Al Charlatan, “Messy” Jesse Jackson, the NAACP including ALL other black MIS-leaders to organize the so-called black community in protests and rallies against this horrific behavior!?! Where is the National Council of Negro Women?!? Where are those “Black Greek” sororities that so vehemently protested to take “Sorority Sisters” off vh1? I’m not surprised at whites and others not saying or doing anything or protecting the black woman’s true character and image from erasure and demonization because we KNOW they don’t value us at all, but it’s ESPECIALLY very,very heartbreaking to a lot of sistas that many in the so-called black community either ridicule, mock, share, re-tweet, or just remain silent. In addition, when whites and others see “black” people doing this to their own women and girls this opens the door for them to join in too   “cause if the black community doesn’t mind mocking and ridiculing their own women and don’t say  or do nothing then it must be ok for us to do it too.”  This is exactly how they are thinking! AND BEFORE SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT I’M SINGLING OUT SOME GUILTY PARTIES AND NOT OTHERS, SOME BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS ARE NOT INNOCENT EITHER. EVEN MANY BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS THEMSELVES THINK THESE MEMES AND TWEETS ARE FUNNY AND NO BIG DEAL. SOCIETY ( VIA RACISM WHITE SUPREMACY PROGRAMMING) AND THE SO-CALLED BLACK COMMUNITY HAS DONE A TERRIFIC JOB, CONSCIOUSLY AND SUBCONSCIOUSLY TEACHING BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS NOT TO VALUE THEY’RE OWN DAMN SELVES! SMDH




6xUo-YEoMi_rtI3v-XhDMoXXXL4j3HpexhjNOf_P3YmryPKwJ94QGRtDb3Sbc6KY       best-man



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Now take a look at these tweets ya’ll from “black” men themselves. There’s a white boy and others in there taking a shot at sistas right along with ’em. smdh


*Below are a few reader responses to these disgusting tweets*

there is a reason why Black Girls Rock exist. thats why organizations exist to uplift black girls. people refuse to acknowledge that misogynoir exists. they refuse to listen to black girls and their struggles.

This makes me sick..

They change their toon when they see a black woman dating some one that isn’t black or are dating another black woman.

They’ll complain that other races are stealing their fine black woman away from them and be jealous of them and their beautiful little mixed babies.

They’ll claim that they only got into a same sex relationship because no man wanted them and then be sniffing around her and her girlfriend looking for a hand out in the form of a threesome that is NEVER. GOING. TO. FUCKING. HAPPEN.

You can say black woman are ugly aaaaaallll you want but we know the truth: You’re scared of us, You’re jealous of us, you’re mad that we call you out on your bull shit, your worried will give you the beat down if you say this kind of shit to our face.

Black woman are beautiful, every single one, light dark tall short fat thin freckled pocked natural permed or what ever. Any one denies it is a fucking lie and should be avoided at all costs until they come to their damned senses.

“Black girls are ugly” ha! I spit on your delusions.


Re blogging this shit again just to say that sometimes i really am ashamed that I have to align myself with black men simply because there are so many of us that are self-hating and pathetic. MY MOTHER IS LIGHT SKINNED AND I FUCKING LOVE BLACK WOMEN OF ALL CREEDS AND COLOR. Fuck out of here with that “black men prefer white women because….” no nigga YOU PREFER WHITE WOMEN, dont fucking lump us all into some fucking big ass ball of self-hatred as if every black man hates the women he’s been raised around. At the end of the day I understand that the only way to distance yourself from such negativity and internalized racism is through your own actions and acknowledgement, so while my words may fall on deaf ears, still. I just want to say to every single black female that reads this I am deadass sorry we as black men say and do this to yall as if you guys arent literally the most important people in our lives. I am a Black and white biracial kid who grew up in Brooklyn, NY. I have literally watched black women fight my entire life…please dont see this post and give up. I know this post makes it seem as if your blood sweat and tears are worthless, but I swear every single drop is worth more than my weight in gold. Don’t give up on us, dont even give up on them….we’re fucking idiots yo…we need yall.


Question is, why aren’t white girls offended by this as well? They’re basically saying you ain’t shit but a dick pleasing doormat.

Now let’s take a look at some stereotypical “Daquan” memes about Black Men and boys. I bet your bottom dollar that the Negro boys and girls who laugh at the memes above would not laugh at these, they’ll pitch 10 bitches in hell, call Al Charlatan, call “Messy” Jesse, the NAACP, the press, etc. I’m telling you all that many in the so-called black community don’t tolerate this type of mess when it comes to black men and boys. And guess what,  there was a meme that was posted (I believe last year by a white person) like the ones below about black men/boys and black twitter erupted! Some have taken notice how the so-black community WILL PROTECT AND DEFEND BLACK MEN AND BOYS THAN BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS (i.e. the so-called Black Community’s turning out in large numbers to protest and rally for justice of dead black men and boys and not dead black women and girls murdered by the police, whites, non-whites, and other blacks). WE SHOULD BE PROTECTING THE CHARACTER AND IMAGE OF BOTH GENDERS EQUALLY.







Many Black Women and Girls are getting plum freaking sick and tired of being sick and tired of the sexist and misogynoiristic abuse from both this white supremacist society and our own “community” and we’re speaking out, fighting back, and we won’t be silenced!!!

The Flag Comes DOOOWN!

As a young citizen of South Carolina I am proud to have witnessed the confederate flag  rag, a symbol of racism white supremacy be removed from the state house grounds at Columbia on this day, although it’s sad that it took the lost of 9 Black lives to finally get it removed. The battle to remove this flag has waged for decades (54 years). In 2000, the Black citizens of South Carolina and Blacks from around the country gathered at Columbia to protest and march for its removal. Moreover, the then Republican Gov. David Beasley supported the removal of the flag (which is why his political career ended) but all this yielded no results. The flag was removed from the top of the state house onto the grounds, which could be seen even better by both citizens and visitors.  The rag has cause the state to loose billions of dollars in economic and job opportunities.  Many believe (I do too) that this removal will give the state a clean slate as far as economics and jobs go, however, the rag still has its many supporters who continue to spout that it’s their “heritage” and will still find ways to obtain it, fly it, or showcase it in some other form (i.e., bumper stickers) on their personal property.That’s not going to change. Yes, it’s their “heritage,” the heritage of racism white supremacy. I’m glad it’s out of site (sort of; it being placed in a local museum). The struggle continues!

The Bill Cosby Scandal: A Great Legacy Gone To Hell

Recent revelations that Bill Cosby admitted that he has brought drugs with the intention of using them to drug young women (unbeknownst to them) he wanted to have sex with is truly heartbreaking. This strengthens the stories of the 25+ women who publicly came forward with these horror stories and further diminishes his legacy (which is of his own doing). The family oriented, humanitarian, comedic race man is obviously not the man he has portrayed himself to be on and off air for over 50 years. This admission led to a future sitcom on NBC to be cancelled, former supporters becoming non-supporters (i.e. Jill Scott), a statue of him at Disney taken down, endorsement deals lost or cancelled amongst other things. smdh. Now will he just come out admit that he raped these women? He should. A great legacy gone to hell. Your thoughts?

Couldn’t Help But Laugh At These…….

I found the human science project that is Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner sad, yet these memes made it kinda comical. I needed a good laugh after all the atrocities in the news as of late. ROFLMBAO! Can’t stop Laughing! So I provided the post for a quick laugh. Meanwhile, Please feel free to continue previous conversation on the blog.








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545461     kris-jenner-dis0


The Erasure of the Original Black Woman and the Continuing Demise of the So-called Black Community From Within and Without

For the last month, my heart has been heavy laden at the recent events that have been taken place in the continuing effort to exterminate and erase the original people from the planet. Not only am I sad and  disgusted at these atrocious events but by some (too many) within the so-called Black Community’s responses to them. I’ve been really angry and it is not until now that I have been able to calm down and write about these atrocities and peoples’ responses to them. I’ve already briefly discussed the pool party incident in McKinney, Texas here and here. So I will move on with a brief discussion surrounding the blackface wearing racist psychopath by the name of Rachel Dolezal, sexually confused Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner, and the Church shooting in Charleston, South Carolina in which another racist psychopath by the name of Dylan Roof claimed the lives of 9 Black People.

While the white race may be on the brink of death physically and genetically, the so-called Black Community has been dead, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally for the past 40+ years with ABSOLUTELY NO SIGNS OR INTENTION of resurrecting back into a living, thriving,unified, and successful community of self-loving, self-respecting people  (notice how I say so-called Black Community because the Black Collective is now operating on individualism and selfishness) . Now most of us know that the Black Collective beeeen a psychological cesspool or train wreak (which ever term you may prefer to use), but when I thought the so-called Black Community couldn’t get any dead(er) here comes the Rachel Dolezal  ( I’m not going to get into who she is or what she’s done cause most of you if not all have heard and read the story by now, if you don’t know google her). Many Black Women and Girls are soooo very, very disappointed in the so-called Black Community’s (especially the men) co-signing of this psychopath’s appropriation of Black Womanhood and the Black Woman’s Contribution to the struggle in the liberation of African peoples from Racism White Supremacy.  This is the worse betrayal of Black Woman Collective by the so-called Black Community that many of us has ever experience; we’ve been collectively thrown under the bus by our own “community” in exchange for a white woman, original black woman wannabe in blackface pretending to be a soldier in the struggle for liberation of African peoples. Black Women have expressed MUCH anger toward this creature on and offline. Here are some of the most stupid, vile, cruel anti-black woman hating responses by the Super Coons and Super Mammies caping for this psychopathic fraud:

  1. “If she wanna be black, she can be black.”
  2. “She has done more for black people than you black women ever did.” [Side note from TiredSista: Mind you, as of time this story first broke up until now,  nobody couldn’t tell us exactly what this fool has done for the so-called Black Community]
  3. “Black Women are “jealous” of White Women.” [Side note from TiredSista: Any constructive or well deserved criticism and or reprimanding of White Women by Black Women is called “jealousy”]
  4. You Black Bitches never done anything for the Black Community.” [Side note from TiredSista: These same self-hating Negro Super Coons and Super Mammies most likely NEVER did anything to improve the “community” themselves]
  5. If Bruce Jenner can become transgender, then Rachel can become “transracial.”[Side note From TiredSista: The two cannot be compared; Bruce’s transformation is a separate issue].
  6. Below is two comments by two prominent Super Coons Boyce Watkins and D.L. Hugley caping for Rachel .wefixignorantmemes: I ain’t touching or fixing this. This f*ckery deserves to be untouched and on Super Sain level 4 full blast. A long as we keep these men funded we are co-signing their ignorance. I am not surprised these men feel this way. Hughley is a known homophobe and misogynist against Black women here, here and here  that blames Black women for rain and Boyce Watkins, well is Boyce Watkins. DL Hughley’s tweets: https://twitter.com/RealDLHughley/status/609839042381881344Boyce Watkins’ Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/drboycewatkins/posts/10153373786327272 Have you found an ignorant ass meme like this one? Well we repair racist, sexist, homophobic & other bigoted memes! Save a jackass & send their memes today! Like what we do? Support Bougie Black Girl and We Fix Ignorant memes at www.bougieBlackgirl.com/donate I hate D.L. Hughley

My Personal Prayer: Lord, God help us to survive these anti-black woman, self-hating Negro Coons and Mammies. Lord, I’m tired of ’em, Jesus.They’re just like their white supremacist massa and misses. Send them away to an island to themselves or with their white massas and misses away from us self-loving, self-actualizing black women, men, boys, and girls so they will no longer be able to spread their self-hating, self-loathing, misogynoiristic, colorist ways and poison no further amongst us or future Black Generations. They are a great detriment to us, themselves, and what may could be a resurrection and or restoration of a living and thriving Black Community and Black Family. *sarcasm*

I’m sure this will go prayer will go unanswered. I’m not into Christianity as an adult like I have been raised to be, lol. But lord knows we need some divine intervention…NOW!

Now let’s look at some responses from Black Women and Girls on how (too many) Black Men and even more sad (too) many Black Women have responded to this debacle:

1.) “The African-American collective’s mass reactions to several recent events have shown those of us who are self-actualizing African-American Black women (as I call us, Sojourners)  just how EXTREMELY compromised our collective position is these days.”

I’m referring to the large numbers of unprotected,disrespected African-American Black women (AABW) caping HARD in support of rich, White, Republican, Deadbeat Absentee Dad To His Older Set of Children, Allows His Underage Daughter Kylie To Be Exploited By A Pedophile Bruce Jenner’s latest cross-dressing stunt.

I’m referring to the Acting “Brand New”—I Never Knew Black People Would Be Treated Differently  reactions to the teenage Black girl in a bikini at a pool party who was attacked by an out of control cop in McKinney, Texas.

I’m referring to the large numbers of Mammy Mules and Negro Male Coons Caping HARD For WW Scam Artist Rachel Dolezal.

AA slaves are doing all of this in support of their own erasure. For any self-respecting AA person, these caping incidents have been grotesque spectacles.

As Sojourners, we’re looking at the terminal stage of self-hating, self-destructive cultural dysfunctions that were set in motion over a century ago; and that were allowed to fester by the AA misleadership class (past and present). We see this. Now what? It’ll take several blog posts to unpack all of this. This is the first of several posts about this topic”– Khadija, blogger of Muslim Bushido.

2.) Reader/Follower : “These are the same black men that scream “unity” when something bad goes down and they want black women to come to their defense…. Hmm.. No way! I say gtfoh with that!”

Blogger: Exactly!!! I was going to make a post stating just colorism and intraracism is still existing despite us fighting against racism. I’ve seen screen names where black men have “Blacklivesmatter” in them and still make anti-black woman comments towards black women. I don’t see how sistas will catch a bullet for these clowns.

The only time they view black women as valuable is if we’re out there marching for them to help them. Just like a good portion of them were defending Rachel Dolezal bashing black women in the process, then as soon as that shooting happened we’re suppose to come together and be mad at da white mane with them. We’re only needed for their self serving purposes- A Black Woman Tumblr Blogger to One of her Readers

3.) “In the midst of our community’s fight against white supremacy and racism, it’s painful to still so many colorist, intra-racist comments towards black women on social media from black men. A lot of black women who laugh and cosign believe it’ll give them some sort of special cookie. It’s a pretty pathetic sight to witness”.-A Black Woman Blogger on Tumblr

4.) Reader Follower: I’m worried about the younger generation of black girls self esteem The black male population has made it clear they want nothing to do with black girls/women in general. Literally putting EVERY woman that’s not black on a pedestal We gotta protect em

5.)  Reader/Follower: I can’t even picture myself in a relationship anymore…..but I force myself to keep hope, only because I want black babies. And then (because how I was raised) I feel bad for being OK with the thought of being a single mom, mainly because of statistics.. I need help😫. I mean I have time and someone may come along…but my thing is, I honestly do not care to get close to anyone. Too many hidden motives with black men….

Blogger: You’re not the only black woman. A lot of black women value blackness and the black culture. This is why our IR dating numbers are so low because we’re clinging do desperately to the black family dream. We prefer black men and black children. When we realize that the light at the end of the tunnel is fading, so we become fearful or we lose hope. It’s normal to feel this way, especially if you set out for something or out your all into something and it seems like a distant memory.

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So there you have it, black women and girls’ expressing how they feel very betrayed by the so-called Black Community’s (especially a significant number of men) hard caping for Rachel Dolezal which will only further deepen the divide between Black Men and Black Women. It’s bad enough the Original Black Woman is being erased from television, film, and as the natural love interest of the Original Black Man by White Supremacist Media and Hollyweird, but it’s especially disappointing and disparaging that the so-called Black Community is participating and going along with the erasure and destruction of its own women.

Dylan Roof
Dylan Roof
The 9 Charleston, SC Church Massacre Victims


As for the so-called Black Community’s response to the Charleston, SC Church Shooting some of us responded out of pure anger and rage with no intention of forgiving whereas some (too) many wanted to forgive Dylan (i.e., like Negro gospel musician Marcus Stanley) for the cold-hearted murders before the victims’ bodies were buried and cold in the ground. Check out gospel musicians Marcus Stanley’s ode of forgiveness to Dylan …..that is if you can stomach it. Black people have been praying and forgiving white people for hundreds of years for their wrongdoing and it hasn’t changed a gotdamn thing in the way white people treat us. In the case of white supremacy (racism)/terrorism, forgiveness IS NOT a sign of strength, but a sign of weakness and a refusal to actively resist racism (white supremacy). We don’t see white people forgiving Black people if they are harmed or killed by a Black person…..NEVER! Dr. Welsing talks about Black People’s perpetual pattern of forgiveness to white people as a form of our mental illness via white supremacy programming here, here, and here. WHITE PEOPLE WILL NOT STOP RACISM (WHITE SUPREMACY) NO MATTER HOW MUCH SOME OF US FORGIVE THEM and BLACK PEOPLE FORGIVING WHITE PEOPLE WILL NOT LIBERATE BLACK PEOPLE FROM RACISM WHITE SUPREMACY.

From Bruce to
                                                                                            From Bruce to “Caitlyn”

Last but not least, Bruce”Caitlyn” Jenner’s transformation from a man to a woman has garnered support from the dead black community, especially from too many  Black Women with the super mammy mentality. These women will run and support anyone, black men (as they should), gays, lesbians, transgender, and others except other Black Women and Girls. These mammies have internalized the sexism and anti-black misogyny ( misogynoir) directed at Black Women and Girls.( I will talk about anti-black racio- misogyny in an upcoming post; Khadija, blogger of Muslim Bushido mentioned this in the above quote of hers). Complete and utter MADNESS!!!

The so-called Black Community is going to go the way of the white race if the Black Collective doesn’t get itself together before it’s too late. I don’t see this happening because the Black Collective is sooo fiercely determined to love and get love from the white collective instead of learning to love themselves and each other. I and sooo many Black Women and Girls have watched in sadness and utter disgusts as the so-called Black Community willingly and publicly participated in the total erasure and obliteration of the Original Black Woman. This speaks to the subconscious hatred that many so-called black men and the so- called Black Community has for Black Women and Girls (I will discuss this in another post).  On the other hand, we continuously watch time and time again as some of us forgive white people for practicing racism white supremacy. This speaks volumes to how many of us still are afraid to man and woman up to actively resist racism white supremacy and terrorism.

In light of these incidents, I came to the conclusion that its a wrap for the so-called Black Community. The vast majority of the “community” IS DEAD, deader than the Dead Sea Scrolls and has NO SIGN and NO INTENTION of resurrecting back into a living, thriving, unified, and successful community with self-loving, self-respecting people despite the fact that we are in the midst of a WAR. In addition,  I have a waning desire to help the black collective because there’s just no hope cause many have already decided what their fate is gonna be which is to stay ignorant and asleep.We are being destroyed within and without.  I’ve decided to help and align myself with ONLY those self-loving, self-respecting, and self-actualizing Black Men and Women who sincerely want total liberation from racism white supremacy/terrorism. I guess we are the ones that will be re-building the Black Community from scratch. I’m sooo fucking tired!!!